Naughty Birthday Card, freakin pervert, snarky, humorous, Masculine Birthday Card made on recycled paper, comes with envelope and seal


Hello! Thank you for looking around!!!

This listing is for 1 (one) “Happy Birthday, You Freakin’ Pervert card”

Do you have a perverted friend? I do! One of my best friends is a complete pervert. He turns just about any word anyone says into something dirty. I saw a roasted nut commercial, and given that his birthday is around the corner, and I was due to make him a card (pronto!) I thought up of this one.

The front of the card reads, “MMMM, I really want to put those big salty nuts in my mouth…”

The inside reads, “You know, the ones they sell in that one aisle, at the grocery store. Why, what did you think I was talking about? Happy Birthday, you freakin’ pervert!”

If you’d prefer a larger quantity of cards (help save you a bit of money on shipping and cost of cards, in some cases) follow the links below:

If you’d like a set of 3:

If you’d like a set of 6:

My cards can also be found for sale at Jacksonville's Museum of Contemporary Art, or MOCA, as we local's call the museum :0)

Follow me on pinterest 'ladybugonaleaf

“Like” my facebook to keep up to date on what I’m creating and get coupon codes!!

My 'stamp' showing I made it will appear on the backs of each card.

This card comes with its own white envelope and seal. The envelope is 5 ¾” x 4 3/8”. This is a 5 ½” x 4 2/8” made by me, using my handy dandy canon printer. Since I also hand cut the card, please note that the measurements are approximate, not exact, but it will fit in its envelope. I am VERY passionate about EVERY one of my creations, and PROMISE they all meet up to my VERY HIGH expectations!

I ship within 24 hours of receiving payment. Via first class, to help save you on shipping.

Thank you so much for taking a peek! To the SWEET Lord be ALL the glory!! ENJOY THIS DAY!!

Shipping from United States

Processing time

1-2 business days

Estimated shipping times

  • North America : 2 - 5 business days
  • Europe : 2 - 5 weeks

I'll do my best to meet these shipping estimates, but can't guarantee them. Actual delivery time will depend on the shipping method you choose.

Customs and import taxes

Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.

Payment Options

Secure options
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards

Returns & Exchanges

I gladly accept returns and exchanges

Just contact me within: 5 days of delivery

Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery

I don't accept cancellations

But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.

The following items can't be returned or exchanged

Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:

  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)

Conditions of return

Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.

Reviews (3)


It was perfect! And it got here super fast! Thank you so much!

Who needs Chocolate when I have this Etsy Seller, NO CAFFEINE NEEDED!

Legal imprint